Haven't found the one yet:
- open source software, doh
- end-to-end encryption...
- has browser frontend and Android app
- public URL without sharing your mobile phone: messaging software that force you to have a mobile phone
- self-destroying messages (turned on by default please)
- user base large enough to give some confidence that it was reviewed for security issues
- easy/built-in setup over Tor
Optional but really ideal:
- decentralized, your username is a public key
The state of messaging is ridiculous as of 2020.